Wedding Planning: Keeping Your Cool


noun/präks/ proxies, plural

1. The authority to represent someone else, esp. in voting

2. A person authorized to act on behalf of another


This one goes out to all those engaged people out there.

If I had one piece of advice to give you for your wedding day it would be this: Appoint a proxy for the hours leading up to your ceremony.  Trust me.

My best friend is a genius.  On the day of my wedding, she took full possession of my cell phone and refused to let me answer any texts or calls.  If I got a phone call, she would answer, assess the situation, and then hand the phone over if -and ONLY IF- it was really important that I be bothered.  She basically screened everything for me so that I could concentrate on relaxing, getting my makeup done, or sipping my sanity juice (AKA mimosa.)

This small act ("gimme your phone!") turned out to be a hugely important part of my wedding day experience.  Because she was someone I could totally trust, I knew that she was going to take care of it if anything came up that needed to be dealt with.  If there had been any drama, I probably wouldn't have known about it.  Seriously, Janet, you kick butt and take names.  I wouldn't have been sane without you!

This is your brain on weddings.

Do you know what happens to a bride's brain in the flurry of wedding activity in the weeks and days leading up to her event?  It's often not pretty, people.  It's a crazy mix of pretty much every emotion you could think of, all rolled into one person who, in society's eyes, is supposed to be beaming and graceful during the whole process... Beaming and glowing can prove to be difficult when you have a bajillion things on the To-Do list... Am I right, brides?

The above photo was not taken by me.  I wish. Rawr!

I've been thinking a lot about the little things that I did (and could have done better) in order to keep the stress down during my wedding transition.  I have decided to bring in some big guns in the industry to shine a light on the importance of lowering wedding planning stress and just how to do exactly that.

Never fear, sanity is near!

First up, advice from the lovely Chesney Schmidt from All The Flutter Wedding & Event Design in Seattle:

"So many things to do, so little time. With weddings these days taking on a whole new "party" dynamic, the "to do" lists can grow ever so daunting. The first and foremost on that "to do" list should be to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF...FIRST! I have heard it by so many of my clients that once they get to those last few weeks and days leading up to their special day, they are sick in bed because they have ran themselves into the ground and need assistance on picking up the loose pieces and taking over! Whether you are a "task master" by heart or "go with the flow" kinda gal, it is OK to let go and delegate those final little details to your bridal party, close friends or family. If you want to keep the stress off all those you love, hiring a day of coordinator to work with you in those stressful 4 to 6 weeks leading up to your wedding, will be music to your ears! And all your loved ones too!"

One of my favorite wedding blogs ever -and now an awesome book- A Practical Wedding, has a great article about keeping your cool during the planning process.  A few wise suggestions from them about your planning process:

  • Set a wedding-free zone in your house.
  • Stop Reading Wedding Blogs (See hunky R. G., above.)
  • Make out with your partner as often as possible.
  • Get a hobby.
  • Stop planning your wedding and start planning your life.
  • OR, plan something else. (Like a vacation!)

This article is great because it helps you find ways to remember who you are in the midst of planning  Read it in full here.

And here's what Patti Huck and Tawsha Connell, the masterminds behind the My Big Day Planner and the Wedding Preview Event, have to share with you about this topic:

"Two weeks before the wedding, you lose all your reasoning ability,  and sanity goes out the window.   Plan fun activities, shopping, or whatever floats your boat, AFTER the wedding so you don’t experience a crash. For so long, the focus is on just one day. When it’s over…then what? Prep for the anti-climatic post-wedding days and you’ll be good to go.  Plan what you like. Plan what you love. Hire who you love. Be you. There’s no shame in trying something new, nor guilt should you decide to eliminate a tradition. As long as you stay true to who you both are, as a couple, you’ll feel you had a perfect wedding day."

And here... this is a really big one that Patti and Tawsha totally nailed:

"The most important piece of advice we have EVER given: At various points of your planning and ESPECIALLY on your wedding day, take a step back and consciously soak it all in. The day goes by so fast. Take note of the people, the colors, the music, the smells, the feelings. Take a bunch of mental pictures. This is the only “service” you can’t hire, it’s free, and it’s the only thing that you’ll have available to you at every second of every day."  

To sum it up...

Don't forget to breathe, delegate, actively take time for yourself, and consciously slow down to enjoy the sparks of wonderful amongst all of the chaos.